Do not expect gratitude from anyone

Excerpt from the Book: Don't Be Sad

Do not expect gratitude from anyone

Allah, the Almighty, created His slaves so that they may worship and remember Him, and He provided sustenance for them so that they may be grateful to Him. Nevertheless, many have worshipped other than Him and the masses are thankful not to Him, but to others,because the characteristic of ingratitude is widespread among human beings. So do not be dismayed when you find that others forget your favors or disregard your kind acts. Some people might even despise you and make you an enemy for no other reason than that you have shown them kindness.

And they could not find any cause to hear a grudge, except that Allah and His Messenger had enriched them of His Bounty. (Qur'an 9:74)

From among the ever-repeating pages of history is a story of a father and his son: the former raised him, fed him, clothed him and taught him; he would stay up nights so that his son could sleep, stay hungry so that his son could eat, and he would toil so that his son could feel comfort. And when the son became older and stronger, he rewarded his father with disobedience, disrespect, and contempt.

So be at peace if you are requited with ungratefulness for the good you have done. Rejoice in your knowledge that you will be rewarded from the One Who has unlimited treasures at His disposal.

This is not to say that you should refrain from performing acts of kindness towards others: the point is that you should be mentally prepared for ingratitude.

Perform acts of charity seeking Allah's pleasure, because with this attitude you will assuredly be successful. The ungrateful person cannot really harm you: praise Allah that that person is the transgressor and that you are the obedient servant. Also, remember that the hand that gives is better than the hand that receives.

We feed you seeking Allah’s Countenance only. We wish for no reward, nor thanks from you.   (Qur'an 76: 9)

Many people are shocked at the nature of ingratitude in others, as though they had never come across this verse and others like it:

And when harm touches man, he invokes Us, lying down on his side, or sitting or standing. But when We have removed his harm from him, he passes on his way as if he had never invoked Us for a harm that touched him? (Qur'an 10: 12)

Hence do not be in a state of agitation if you give someone a pen as a gift and he uses it to satirize you, or if you give someone a walking stick to lean upon and he strikes you with it. As I pointed out earlier, most human beings are ungrateful to their Lord, so what treatment should you and I expect?


Xenia's note: This is so true. If we do everything for the sake of Allah (swt) and we do not expect anything from anyone else, we will not get upset or disappointed if others give us no thanks for all our hard work. Insha Allah we will find our reward with Allah (swt) , Who knows what  each heart hides and Sees and Hears our suffering.

Appearances matter!

From the Book " The Ideal Muslimah"!

Islam encourages the Muslims to stand out among people, readily distinguishable by their dress,
appearance and behaviour, so that they will be a good example, worthy of the great message that they
bring to humanity. According to the hadith narrated by the great Sahabi Ibn al-Hanzaliyyah, the Prophet
(PBUH) told his Companions, when they were travelling to meet some brothers in faith:
"You are going to visit your brothers, so repair your saddles and make sure that you are dressed
well, so that you will stand out among people like an adornment, for Allah (SWT) does not love
ugliness."1
The Prophet (PBUH) considered an unkempt and careless appearance, and scruffy clothes and
furnishings, to be forms of ugliness, which is hated and forbidden by Islam.
Islam encourages the Muslims in general to stand out among the people; the Muslim woman, in
particular, is encouraged to be distinct from other people in her appearance, because this reflects well on
her, and on her husband, family and children.
The Muslim woman does not neglect her appearance, no matter how busy she is with her domestic
chores and the duties of motherhood. She is keen to look good, without going to extremes, because a
good appearance is an indication of how well she understands herself, her Islamic identity, and her
mission in life. The outward appearance of a woman cannot be separated from her inner nature: a neat,
tidy and clean exterior reflects a noble and decent inner character, both of which go to make up the
character of the true Muslim woman.
The smart Muslim woman is one who strikes a balance between her external appearance and internal
nature. She understands that she is composed of a body, a mind and a soul, and gives each the attention
it deserves, without exaggerating in one aspect to the detriment of others. In seeking to strike the right
balance, she is following the wise guidance of Islam which encourages her to do so.
How can the Muslim woman achieve this balance between her body, mind and soul?

O' Allah

Contemplate and Be Thankful

From the Book " Don't Be Sad"

Remember the favours of  Allah upon you and how they surround you from above, and below-indeed from every direction.
" And if you could count the graces of Allah, never could you be able to count them." (Qur'an 14:34)
Health, Safety, Nourishment, Clothing, Air, and Water- these all points to the world being yours, yet you do not realize it. You posses all that life has to offer , yet remain ignorant.
You have at your disposal two eyes, a tounge, lips, two hands abd two legs.
" Then which of the blessings of your Lord will you both (jinns and men) deny?" {Qur'an 55:13}

Xenia's Note: We are all so busy with this life that we often forget to look around us, look at our families and Thank Allah (swt). Every breath we take is a blessing from Allah (swt) and another chance for us to do something good. Please do not miss the opportunity to be grateful and appreciative of Allah's Blessings. Next time we enjoy the sunshine, a glass of cold water, precious times with our children and countless other instances lets say: " Subhanallah! " Glory Be to You O'Allah".
Jazak Allah Kheir for reading

Interaction between Men and Women on the Internet – Some Guidelines

There are many interactive forums on the Internet, including chat sites and online communities. We need to address the critical question of how Muslim men and women should conduct themselves when they come into contact with one another while participating in these forums.

The following guidelines should be observed by Muslim men and women when interacting with one another on the Internet: 

1. Never display photographs under any circumstances. 

To start with, photographs are simply not necessary. The written word is more than sufficient. We must also appreciate how photographs can become a great opportunity for Satan to tempt people and make their foul deeds seem fair to them.

Some people might consider such caution misplaced. However, those who understand how people are seduced and tempted and who have experience in dealing with these problems, know that nothing is far-fetched. Moreover, some people who have a sickness in their hearts manage to deceive themselves and others that something which is completely wrong is instead something that is good and that is motivated by the sincerest and noblest intentions.

2. Use typing and avoid audible means of communication.

If, for some reason, using audible media becomes necessary, then we must adhere to Allah's command: “Be not too complaisant of speech, lest one in whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire; but speak a speech that is just.” [ Sûrah al-Ahzâb : 32]

This verse was revealed concerning the wives of the Prophet (peace be upon him). If this was the case for them, we can appreciate how much more it must apply to us. Moreover, that was during the time of the Prophet (peace be upon him) while we are living in the age of permissiveness and promiscuity.

3. Maintain a serious tone and focus in conversation.

We must not get involved in talking at length about things that are unnecessary and unjustified. In truth, many people get a thrill out of merely speaking with the opposite sex, regardless of what the subject might be. Some men just like to hear a pretty voice. Likewise, since women are indeed the full sisters of men, they also find pleasure in speaking with men.

Our tone should be serious. We should avoid all that is superfluous and frivolous.

4. Remain vigilant at all times. 

Those who we meet on the Internet are, for the most part, apparitions. Men come online posturing as women and women often misrepresent themselves as men. Then, there are so many things we do not know about the other person. What is his ideology? What is his background? What country is he from? What is his line of work? What are his real intentions? All of these things are unknown.

I wish to call the attention of our honored sisters to the dangers that experience has shown us to be ever present in these situations. Many young women are quick to believe what others tell them and are very susceptible to sweet words. Such people are easy victims for the predator who lays out his trap. One moment, he is a sincere advisor, another the victim crying out for someone to save him, then he is the lonely man looking for someone with whom to share the rest of his life, the next moment he is the sick man looking for a cure…

5. Muslim women who work with the Internet should keep in close contact with one another. 

They need to develop strong channels of communication so they can lend a degree of support to each other in this important and possibly dangerous field of endeavor. They need to cooperate closely and share their experiences and expertise. A person standing alone is weak, but standing with others she is strong.

Allah says: “By time! Surely the human being is at loss. Except for those who have faith and do righteous deeds and exhort one another to truth and exhort one another to patience.” [ Sûrah al-`Asr ]

Abû Mulaykah al-Dârimî narrates: “It was the practice among the Prophet's Companions, that if two of them met, they would not depart from one another without one of them reading Sûrah al-`Asr to the other. Then one of them would greet the other with peace.” [ al-Mu`jam al-Awsat (5120) and Shu`ab al-خm ân (9057)]

I also advise our Muslim sisters to focus most of their attention and their efforts on calling other women to Islam and enjoining them to righteousness. They should use this valuable medium to assist and serve their sisters and to reform them. This should be done indirectly, subtly, and with wisdom. Too direct an approach, when giving advice, often causes the other party to become angry, confrontational, and obstinate. This is because the person giving advice comes off as seeming high-handed and arrogant, while the one being advised feels shamed and belittled. Therefore, be gentle in your choice of words, good-natured, attentive, and forbearing. This makes the receiving party more conductive to receiving your advice and less likely to spurn it

Source: Slaves of Allah


Xenia's Note: Alhamdulillah.The Internet is a powerful tool that if it is used correctly, much good can come out of it. But we must follow the above guidelines for our own good and that of our families. If you have children is very important to have the computer in a family room with the screen facing outwards so you can keep an eye on what the little ones are doing. I use the Internet a lot trying to find interesting posts, and of course trying to spread the beautiful message of Islam. But I keep myself remote and very distant from sites like f/b. In f/b all the Islamic pages are trying very hard to give knowledge and dawah. But I do know the limits of interaction. So, my dear sisters, please be alert. There are many wolves with sheep's clothing.  

The Muslim woman and her religious duties!

From the Book " The Ideal Muslimah"

In a previous article we mentioned the Prayers of the Muslim woman. Now we will follow with the rest of the Muslim woman's actions.

She Pays Zakat on Her Wealth
The Muslim women pay zakat on her wealth, if she is wealthy enough to be liable for zakat. Every
year at a specified time, she calculates how much she owns and pays what she has to, because
zakat is a pillar of Islam, and there can be no compromise or excuse when it comes to paying it
every year, even if the amount comes to thousands or millions. It would never occur to the true
Muslim woman to try to avoid paying some of the zakat that she is obliged to pa.Many ayat of the Qur'an confirm the interdependence of salat and zakat in the
structure of faith:( . . .Those who establish regular prayer and regular charity . . .) (Qur'an
5:55) ( And be steadfast in prayer: practise regular charity.) (Qur'an 2:43) ( . . . [those
who] . . . establish prayers and regular charity) (Qur'an 2:277)

It is clear to the true Muslim woman that Islam - although it has given her the right to financial
independence, and has not obliged her to support herself or others, which is, rather, the duty of
men - has indeed enjoined zakat on her, and has made zakat a right to which the poor are entitled

She Fasts During the Day and Prays
at Night in Ramadan
The true Muslim woman fasts the month of Ramadan, and her soul is filled with faith that:
"Whoever fasts Ramadan out of faith and hope of reward, all his previous sins will be forgiven."54
She has the attitude of one who truly fasts, whose faculties keep away from all kinds of sins that
may invalidate the fast or diminish its reward. If she finds herself exposed to the trials of hostility
or argument, she follows the Prophet's advice to men and women who fast:
"When any of you is fasting, he should not utter foul words or raise his voice in anger. If then
anyone provokes or fights him, he should say, `I am observing a fast."

The wise Muslim woman must strike a balance, during this all-too-short blessed month,
between her domestic duties and the opportunity this month brings to draw closer to Allah (SWT)
through worship and good deeds. She should not let her household chores distract her from
performing the obligatory prayers at the appointed times, or from reading Qur'an or praying nafil
prayers. Nor should she let traditional late-night family gatherings keep her from praying qiyam allayl
and tahujjud, and making du`a'. She knows the great reward and abundant forgiveness that
Allah (SWT) has prepared for those who stay up to pray during the night in Ramadan

The true Muslim woman and her family should live an Islamic life during Ramadan, striving to
organize themselves in such a way that when they all come back from tarawih prayers, they do not
stay up for too long, because in a few short hours' time, they will get up to pray qiyam al-layl and
then eat suhurEat suhur, for in suhur there is blessing.".
The true Muslim woman helps all the members of her family to get up for suhur, in obedience to
the command of the Prophet (PBUH) and in the hope of obtaining the blessings of suhur, such as
the reminder to pray qiyam al-layl, and encouragement to go out to the mosque to pray fajr in
congregation, awell as the physical benefits of strengthening the body for the day's fast.

She Observes Nafil Fasts

The true Muslim woman also observes nafil fasts at times other than Ramadan, if it is not too
difficult for her to do so. So she fasts the day of `Arafat, and `Ashura', and the ninth day of
Muharram, because fasting on these days and others is one of the righteous deeds that may
expiate sins.

She goes on Hajj to the sacred
House of Allah (SWT).
The true Muslim woman intends to go on Hajj to the House of Allah (SWT) when she is able to do
so and it is easy for her to travel. Before she sets out on her journey, she takes the time to study
the rules (ahkam) of Hajj in depth, so that when she begins to perform the rituals of Hajj, her
actions will be based on true understanding and her Hajj will be complete according to the
conditions laid down by the shari`ah. It will also be the equivalent of jihad for men, as the Prophet
(PBUH) described it in a hadith narrated by `A'ishah (May Allah be pleased with her):
"I [`A'ishah] said: `O Messenger of Allah (PBUH), can we (women) not go out on military
expeditions and fight in jihad with you (men)?' He said, `You (women) have the best of
jihad, and the best of it is Hajj, a blessed Hajj.'" `A'ishah said, "I should never stop going for
Hajj after I heard this from the Messenger of Allah (PBUH)."

She goes for `Umbra
Just as Hajj is obligatory for the Muslim woman, so also is `Umbra, if she is able to go - especially
`Umbra during Ramadan, the reward for which is equivalent to that for performing Hajj with the
Prophet (PBUH). This is seen in the hadith narrated by Imam Bukhari from Ibn `Abbas (RAA) who
said:
"When the Prophet (PBUH) came back from Hajj, he said to Umm Sinan al-Ansariyyah,
`What stopped you from going to Hajj?' She said, `Abu so-and-so - meaning her husband -
has two camels; he took one to go to Hajj, and we need the other to irrigate our land.' He
said, `When Ramadan comes, go for `Umbra, for `Umbra in Ramadan is a Hajj.'" According
to another report also narrated by Ibn `Abbas, the Prophet (PBUH) said: "For `Umbra in
Ramadan is equivalent to (performing) Hajj with me."75

She is obedient to the commands of Allah (SWT)
The true Muslim woman does not forget that she is duty bound to perform all the religious duties
that Allah (SWT) has commanded her to do. In this regard her situation is the same as that of a
man, and there is no difference between them except in a few regulations which apply exclusively
to either men or women. Other than that, women and men are equally responsible before Allah
(SWT).
Allah (SWT) says:
( For Muslim men and women, for believing men and women, for devout men and
women, for true men and women, for men and women who are patient and
constant, for men and women who humble themselves, for men and women who
give in charity, for men and women who fast [and deny themselves], for men and
women who guard their chastity, and for men and women who engage much in
Allah's praise - for them has Allah prepared forgiveness and great reward.) (Qur'an
33:35)
( Whoever works righteousness, man or woman, and has Faith, verily, to him will
We give a new Life, and life that is good and pure, and We will bestow on such their
reward according to the best of their actions.) (Qur'an 16:97)
( And their Lord has accepted of them, and answered them: `Never will I suffer to
be lost the work of any of you, be he male or female: you are members, one of
another; those who have left their homes and were driven out therefrom, and
suffered harm in My Cause, and fought and were slain - verily, I will blot out from
them their iniquities, and admit them into Gardens with rivers flowing beneath - a
reward from the Presence of Allah, and from His Presence is the best of rewards.)
(Qur'an 3:195)
Whenever the phrase "ya ayyuha'l-nas (O people or O mankind)" appears in the Qur'an or Hadith,
it includes both men and women. Evidence of this may be found in the hadith narrated by Imam
Muslim.

Xenia's Note: Writing and reading the above, it brought home to me that I have a long way to go to become the " Ideal" Muslimah. I can try, take one day at a time, and ask Allah swt to help me and make it easy for me and all Muslims to obey His Commands. Ameen.

O' Allah!

From the book " Don't Be Sad"

"Whosoever is in the heavens and on earth begs of Him. Every day He has a matter to bring forth (such as giving honour to some, disgrace  to some, life to some, death to some, etc.)!"
When there is a violent storm and the seas are turbulent, the occupants of the boat call out, " O' Allah!"
When all plans end in failure, all hope is lost, and the path becomes constricted, " O'Allah," is called out.
To Allah ascend all  good words, the sincere supplication, the tears of the innocent, and the invocations of the afflicted. The heart finds peace, the soul finds rest.
" Allah, is very  Gracious and Kind to His slaves." (Qur'an 42:19)
Allah: The most beautiful of names, the truest combination of letters, and the most precious of words.
" Do you know of any that is similar to Him?[ There is nothing like unto Him and He is the All-Hearer, the All-Seer].

Xenia' Note:

Surah 112-al Ikhlas

Bislillahir- Rahmanir -Raheem

Say "He is Allah, (Who is) One

Allah, The Eternal  Refuge

He neither begets nor is born

Nor is there to Him any equivelant. 

Allah is sufficient for us and He is the Best Disposer of all affairs.

The Muslim Woman and her prayers!

From the Book " The Ideal Muslimah" Chapter 1

She Regularly Prays Five Times a Day
She offers each of the five daily prayers at its appointed time, and does not let domestic chores or
her duties as a wife and mother prevent her from doing so.

Prayer is the link between the servant and his (Rabb). It is the rich source from which a person
derives strength, steadfastness, mercy and contentment, and it is a means of cleansing the stain of
his or her sins:
Abu Hurayrah (RAA) narrated:
"I heard the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) say: `What would you think if there were a river
running by the door of any of you, and he bathed in it five times every day, would any trace
of dirt be left on him?' The people said: `There would be no trace of dirt on him.' He said:
`This is like the daily prayers, through which Allah (SWT) erases sins.'" (Sharh al-
Sunnah 2/175).

Prayer in the Mosque
Islam has excused women from the obligation to attend the jama`ah prayer in the mosque, but at
the same time, they are permitted to go out of the house to attend jama`ah on condition that they
dress up well enough not to cause any temptation. Indeed, the first Muslim women did go out and
pray in the mosque behind the Prophet (PBUH).
`A'ishah (May Allah be pleased with her) said:
"The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) used to pray fajr, and the believing women would pray with
him, wrapped up in their outer garments; then they would go back to their homes, and
nobody would recognize them."
The Prophet (PBUH) said:
"Do not prevent your women from attending the mosque if they seek your permission to do
so."
"Do not prevent the female servants of Allah (SWT) from attending the mosques of Allah
(SWT)."
"If your womenfolk seek your permission to go to the mosque, then let them do so."

She Attends Eid Prayers
Islam has honoured woman and made her equal with man as regards obligatory acts of worship.
Women are also encouraged to attend public gatherings on Eid al-Fitr and Eid al-Adha, so that they
may take part in these blessed occasions.
We find this in a hadith narrated by Bukhari and Muslim from Ibn
Jurayj, who said:
"`Ata' told me: "I heard Jabir ibn `Abdullah say: `The Prophet (PBUH) stood up on the
occasion of Eid al-Fitr and led the people in prayer. He began the prayer before the khutbah.
Then he addressed the people. When the Prophet of Allah (PBUH) had finished his khutbah,
he came to the women and spoke to them, whilst leaning on Bilal's arm, and Bilal spread out
his cloak for the women to put their sadaqah in it.'" I [Ibn Jurayj] said to `Ata', `Was it zakat
al-fitr?' He said, `No, it was the sadaqah that they gave at that time; one woman threw her
ring into it, then others followed her lead.' I said to `Ata', `Is it a duty nowadays for the
imam to come to the women and address them when he has finished his khutbah?' He said,
`It most certainly is. This is a duty on them (imams); what is wrong with them that they do
not do that nowadays?'"
According to this hadith, the Prophet (PBUH) exhorted and reminded the women, and accepted the
sadaqah that they themselves willingly gave.

She Prays Sunnah and Nafil Prayers
The Muslim women does not limit herself to the five daily obligatory prayers; she also prays those
sunnah prayers which the Prophet (PBUH) used to perform regularly (al-rawatib), and prays as
many of the nafil (supererogatory) prayers as her time and energy allow. These prayers include
salat al-duha, sunnah prayers following maghrib, and prayers offered at night. Nafil prayers bring a
person closer to Allah (SWT), earn him or her the love and pleasure of Allah (SWT), and make him
or her one of the victorious, obedient and righteous ones. There is no clearer indication of the great
status attained by the believer who draws closer to Allah (SWT) by performing nafil deeds than the
hadith qudsi:
"My servant continues to draw near to Me with supererogatory works so that I will love him.
When I love him, I am his hearing with which he hears, his seeing with which he sees, his
hand with which he strikes, and his foot with which he walks. Were he to ask [something] of
Me, I would surely give it to him; and were he to ask Me for refuge, I would surely grant him
it."

She Performs Her Prayers Properly
The true Muslim tries hard to perform her prayers properly, with deep concentration and precision
of physical movements. She thinks about the meaning of the ayat she is reciting, and the words of
praise and glorification that she is uttering. Her soul is flooded with fear of Allah (SWT), and with
gratitude to Him and sincere worship of Him. If the Titan happens to whisper some idea to her
during the prayer, to distract her from concentrating properly, to keep him away she focuses on
the words that she is reciting from the Qur'an, and the words of praise that she is uttering.
The Muslim woman does not rush back to her housework and chores when she has finished her
prayer. Rather, as the Prophet (PBUH) used to do, she asks Allah (SWT)'s forgiveness by saying
"Astaghfir-Allah" three times, and repeats the du`a': "Allahumma anta al-salam wa minka alsalam,
tabaraka ya dha'l-jalali wa'l-ikram (O Allah (SWT), You are Peace and from You comes
peace, Blessed are You, O Lord of majesty and honour.)"50 Then she repeats the adhkar and
du`a's that the Prophet (PBUH) is known to have recited after completing his prayer. There are
many such adhkar51, one of the most important of which is to repeat "Subhan Allah" thirty-three
times, "La ilaha ill-Allah" thirty-three times, "Allahu akbar" thirty-three times, then to complete one
hundred with "La illaha ill-Allah wahdahu la shaika lah, lahu'l-mulk wa lahu'l-hamd, wa huwa `ala
kulli shayin qadir." According to a sahih hadith, the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"Whoever glorifies Allah (SWT) (says subhan Allah) after every prayer thirty three times,
praises Allah (SWT) (says al-hamdu lillah) thirty three times, and magnifies Allah (SWT)
(says Allahu akbar) thirty-three times, which adds up to ninety-nine, then completes one
hundred by saying La illaha ill-Allah wahdahu la shaika lah, lahu'l-mulk wa lahu'l-hamd, wa
huwa `ala kulli shayin qadir, his sins will be forgiven, even if they were like the foam of the
sea."
Then she turns to Allah (SWT) humbly asking Him to correct all her affairs, in this world and next,
and to bless her abundantly and guide her in everything.
Thus the Muslim woman finishes her prayers, purified in heart and mind and reinvigorated with a
dose of spiritual energy, which will help her to cope with the burdens of everyday life, knowing that
she is under the protection of Allah (SWT). She will not panic if anything bad befalls her, nor will
she become miserly if she enjoys good fortune. This is the attitude of those righteous women who
pray and fear Allah (SWT):
( Truly man was created very impatient; Fretful when evil touches him; and
niggardly when good reaches him. Not so those devoted to Prayer. Those who
remain steadfast to their prayer; And those in whose wealth is a recognized right
For the [needy] who asks and him who is prevented [for some reason from asking]) (Qur'an 70:19-25)

The Aqeeda of the Muslim Woman

The Aqeedah (faith) of the true Muslim woman is pure and clear, uncontaminated by any stain of

ignorance, illusion or superstition.
This Aqeeda is based on faith in Allah, (SWT) the One, the Most
High, the Eternal, Who is able to do all things, Who is in control of the entire universe, and to
Whom all things must return:
( Say: `Who is it in Whose hands is the governance of all things - Who protects
[all], but is not protected [by any]? [Say] if you know.' They will say, `[It belongs]
to Allah,' Say: `Then how are you deluded?') (Qur'an 23:88-89)
This is the pure, deep faith which increases the character of the Muslim woman in strength,
understanding and maturity, so that she sees life as it really is, which is a place of testing whose
results will be seen on the Day which will undoubtedly come:
( Say: `It is Allah Who gives you life, then gives you death; then He will gather you
together for the Day of Judgement about which there is no doubt': but most men do
not understand.) (Qur'an 45:26)
( Did you then think that We had created you in jest, and that you would not be
brought back to Us [for account]?) (Qur'an 23:115)
( Blessed is He in Whose hands is Dominion; and He over all things has Power - He
Who created Death and Life, that He may try which of you is best in deed; and He is
the Exalted in Might, Oft-Forgiving.) (Qur'an 67:1-2)

From the Book " The Ideal Muslimah" Chapter One

Xenia's Note: Please Allah Increase us in Faith , Give Us Strength and Help Us in the Straight Path. Ammen

The Believing Woman is Alert

From the Book" The Ideal Muslimah" by Dr Muhammad Ali-Hashimi
Chapter 1: The Muslim Woman and Her Rabb

One of the most prominent distinguishing features of the Muslim woman is her deep faith in Allah

(SWT), and her sincere conviction that whatever happens in this universe, and whatever fate
befalls human beings, only happens through the will and decree of Allah (SWT); whatever befalls a
person could not have been avoided, and whatever does not happen to a person could not have
been made to happen. A person has no choice in this life but to strive towards the right path and to
do good deeds - acts of worship and other acts - by whatever means one can, putting all his trust
in Allah (SWT), submitting to His will, and believing that he is always in need of Allah's (SWT) help
and support

The story of Hajar offers the Muslim woman the most marvellous example of deep faith in Allah
(SWT) and sincere trust in Him. Ibrahim `May peace be upon him' (PBUH) left her at the Ka`bah in
Makkah, above the well of Zamzam, at a time when there were no people and no water in the
place. Hajar had no-one with her except her infant son Isma`il. She asked Ibrahim, calmly and
with no trace of panic: "Has Allah (SWT) commanded you to do this, O Ibrahim?" Ibrahim (PBUH)
said, "Yes." Her response reflected her acceptance and optimism: "Then He is not going to abandon
us." Reported by Bukhari in Kitab al-Anbiya1
Here was an extremely difficult situation: a man left his wife and infant son in a barren land, where
there were no plants, no water, and no people, and went back to the distant land of Palestine. He
left nothing with her but a sack of dates and a skin filled with water. Were it not for the deep faith
and trust in Allah (SWT) that filled Hajar's heart, she would not have been able to cope with such a
difficult situation; she would have collapsed straight away, and would not have become the woman
whose name is forever remembered night and day by those who perform hajj and `umrah at the
house of Allah (SWT), every time they drink the pure water of Zamzam, and run between the
mounts of Safa' and Marwah, as Hajar did on that most trying day.
This deep faith and awareness had an amazing effect on the lives of Muslim men and women: it
awoke their consciences and reminded them that Allah (SWT) witnesses and knows every secret,
and that He is with a person wherever he may be.

Xenia's note: Lets supplicate Allah to increase us in Knowledge and Faith

You are a Muslim woman, neither eastern nor western!

"You can be the Happiest Woman in the World"- by Dr. Aid al-Qarni


Chapter 14 part one: You are a Muslim woman, neither eastern nor western:

Do not be deceived by the West and its ideas and fashions. All of that is a trick to try to tempt us away from our religion gradually in order to take our wealth. Islam and its family system is what suits women, because women, by their nature, like to stay at home. Perhaps you are asking why? Because Allah, the Exalted, created men stronger than women, with more endurance, reason and physical strength. And He created women more emotional, with strong feelings; women do not possess the same physical strength as men. To some extent, women are moody in comparison to men. Hence, their home is the place of tranquility for them. The woman who loves her husband and children will not leave her house for no reason or mix with men at all. Ninety-nine per cent of females in the West did not reach the state of decline until they had sold themselves and had no fear of God in their hearts. Women's going out to work in the west at this large scale caused men to play the role of women, so, they stay at home washing dishes, looking after children and drinking alcohol. I know that Islam does not object to a man helping his wife at home, indeed this is encouraged, but not to such an extent that their roles are swapped.

Xenia's Note: Men and women have different strengths.They are equal but also different, have different roles and they compliment each other.Islam gave women rights that they never had in the pre-Islamic days. Women can work if they choose to do so, they can inherit, they can get an education, they have a choice over whom they will marry etc. They have the choice. In the West we as women have been led to believe that unless we work we are insignificant and the role of the housewife and mother is of no account. As a mother of 4 ,I found the role of that of the mother, the most challenging but also the most satisfying.

In The Holy Qur'an, Allah swt honours the Mother of Jesus (as)., and a whole surah is dedicated to her-a woman. Allah says the meaning on which is:
"And (remember) when the angels said: "O Maryam (Mary)! Verily, Allah has chosen you, purified you (from polytheism and disbelief), and chosen you above the women of the 'Alamin (mankind and jinn) (of her lifetime)." 
(  سورة آل عمران  , Aal-e-Imran, Chapter #3, Verse #42)


And Allah swt knows best!

Forgiveness

From the Book " You can be the Happiest Woman in the World" page 20


[Remember that Your Lord Forgives those who ask Him for forgiveness, and He accepts the repetance of those who repent, and He accepts those who come back to Him.]

This brings to mind a beautiful Hadith Qudsi where Allah (swt) says:

"‘I am as My servant thinks I am (1). I am with him when he makes mention of Me. If he makes mention of Me to himself, I make mention of him to Myself; and if he makes mention of Me in an assembly, I make mention of him in an assembly better than it. And if he draws near to Me an arm’s length, I draw near to him a fathom’s length. And if he comes to Me walking, I go to him at speed."

(1) Another possible rendering of the Arabic is: ‘I am as My servant expects Me to be.’ The meaning is that forgiveness and acceptance of repentance by the Almighty is subject to His servant truly believing that He is forgiving and merciful. However, not to accompany such belief with right action would be to mock the Almighty.

It was related by al-Buhkari (also by Muslim, at-Tirmidhi and Ibn-Majah).

Conclusion: So lets think of and draw close to our Most Merciful,Most Compassionate Lord and ask Him for His Forgiveness. He is always ready to Forgive us providing we are sincere in our repentance and we abstain from sin.

Jazak Allah Kheir

Xenia

Be content with that which Allah has given you and you will be the richest of people

In our days we live in a world of materialism and we are led to believe that happiness can be found only in an excess of  material possessions. That could not be furthest from the truth.Every minute of the day we chase and strive to acquire more material possessions in the expense of our spiritual possessions.One of the reasons, we are never satisfied. We look after our physical bodies but neglect our souls. But Allah Only knows how much of everything is enough for us and we should be grateful for what we got and also we should not forget to thank Allah.If we use our abilities with Allah's permission we can improve and be content with what we have. Always remember that the life of this world is just a test and the perfect happiness can only be found in Allah's Paradise.

The following is from the Book " Don't be Sad" Page 63

Wealth, appearance, children, house, and talents you must be content with your share in these things:

So hold that which I have given you and be of the grateful.  (Qur'an 7: 144)

Most Islamic scholars and pious Muslims of the early generations of Islam were poor; needless it is to say, then, that they did not have beautiful houses or nice cars. Yet, despite these disadvantages, they led fruitful lives, and they benefited mankind, not by some miracle, but because they used all that they were given, and spent their time in the correct way. Hence they were blessed in their lives, their time, and their talents.

On the contrary, there are many people who have been bestowed with wealth, children, and all forms of blessings, yet these blessings have been the very reason for their misery and ruin. They deviated from what their inborn instincts were telling them, namely, that material things are not everything. Look at those that have obtained degrees from world-renowned universities, and yet they are paragons of obscurity. Their talents and abilities remain unused. 

Meanwhile, others who are limited in the scope of their knowledge have managed to make mountains out of what they have been given, benefiting both themselves and society.

If you are a seeker of happiness, be satisfied with the looks Allah has favored you with, with your family situation, with the sound of your voice, with the level of your understanding, and with the amount of your salary. Certain educators go further than this by saying that you should imagine being contented with even less than you actually have now.

Here for you is a list of those who have shone from our Islamic heritage despite each being challenged by various disadvantages:

Ataa ibn Rabah was a world-renowned scholar of his time. He was not only a freed slave and snub-nosed, but he was also paralyzed.

Al-Ahnaf ibn Qays was famous among the Arabs for his singular level of patience. He achieved that fame despite being emaciated, humpbacked, with crooked legs and a fragile frame.

Al-A`mash was among the most famous scholars of hadith in his time. He was a freed slave, he had bad eyesight, and he was poor. His clothes were ripped, his appearance was disheveled, and he lived in straitened circumstances.

In fact, every Prophet was at one time or another shepherd. Dawood (David) was a blacksmith, Zakariah (Zacharia) a carpenter, and Idrees (Enoch) a tailor; and yet they were the best of mankind.

Therefore your value is in your abilities, good deeds, manners, and contributions to society. Do not feel grief, then, over that which has passed you by in life in terms of good looks, wealth, or family; and be content with what Allah has allotted for you.

It is we who portion out between them their livelihood in this world. (Qur'an 43: 32)

Remind yourself of Paradise, which is as wide as are the Heavens and the Earth. 

If you are hungry in this world, if you are sad, ill or oppressed, remember the eternal bliss of Paradise. If you do this, then your losses are really profits and the hardships you face are really gifts. The most wise of people are those that work for the Hereafter, because it is better and everlasting. 


And the most foolish of mankind are those that see this world as their eternal abode - in it reside all of their hopes. You will find such people to be the most grief-stricken of all when faced with calamity. They will be the most affected by worldly loss simply because they see nothing beyond the insignificant lives that they lead. They see and think only of this impermanent life. They wish for nothing to spoil them in their state of felicity. Were they to remove the veil of ignorance from their eyes, they would commune with themselves about the eternal abode - its bliss, pleasures, and castles. They would listen attentively when they are informed through the Qur'an and the Sunnah about its description. Indeed, that is the abode that deserves our attention and merits our striving and our toiling, so that we may achieve the best of it.

Have we reflected at length about the description of the inhabitants of Paradise? Illness does not befall them, grief does not come near them, they die not, they remain young, and their attire remains both perfect and clean. They are in a beautiful home. In Paradise is found that which no eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no human mind has imagined. The rider travels under a tree in Paradise for one hundred years and yet he still does not reach its end. The length of a tent in Paradise is sixty miles. Its rivers are constant, its castles are lofty, and its fruits are not only close-by, but are also easily picked.

Therein will be a running spring. Therein will be thrones raised high, and cups set at hand, and cushions set in rows, and rich carpets [all] spread out.   (Qur'an 88: 12-16)

The happiness of Paradise will be absolute. So why do we not contemplate this fact?

If Paradise is our final destination and we ask Allah for Paradise - then the hardships of this world are less heavy than they may seem, so let the hearts of the afflicted ones find solace. 

You who live in poverty, or are afflicted with calamity, work righteous deeds so that you shall live in Allah's Paradise. Peace is upon you, because you persevered in patience! Excellent indeed is the. Final hornet      (Qur'an 13: 24)

Welcome!

Asalamu Alaykum
This welcome is from the Book  "You can be the Happiest woman in the World!!!"
I would like to dedicate this welcome to every deserving woman, mother,grandmother, sister, daughter, niece, cousin, friend. If we are not as yet the following women, Insha Allah we can try to be. 

Welcome, O' devout Allah fearing woman who prays and fasts
Welcome, O' wise dignified woman who wears hijab.
Welcome, O' aware, well read and educated woman.
Welcome, O' charitable, sincere, trustworthy and loyal woman.
Welcome, O' patient woman who seeks reward from Allah, repenting and turning to Him.
Welcome, O' woman who remembers Allah and gives thanks to Him, and calls upon Him.
Welcome, O' woman who follows the footsteps of Asiyah, Maryam and Khadijah.
Welcome, O' mother of heroes and producer of men.
Welcome, O' cherisher and guardian of values.
Welcome, O' woman who heeds the sacred limits of Allah and keeps away from the forbidden things.

Source: " You can be the happiest woman in the World" by D A'id al-Qarni

Today is all you have!

Today is all that you have  This is an excerpt from the Book 'Don't Be Sad' by 'Aaidh Ibn Abdullah al-Qarni that I really liked. A lesson I Iearn't is that we should remember, we won't live forever and that this is the time to perfect ourselves as Muslimahs. So, we should be grateful for what we have and try our best to please Allah (swt). When you wake up in the morning, do not expect to see the evening live as though today is all that you have. Yesterday has passed with its good and evil, while tomorrow has not yet arrived. Your life's span is but one day, as if you were born in it and will die at the end of it. With this attitude, you will not be caught between an obsession over the past, with all its anxieties, and the hopes of the future, with all its uncertainty. Live for today: During this day you should pray with a wakeful heart, recite the Qur'an with understanding, and remember Allah with sincerity. In this day you should be balanced in your affairs, satisfied with your allotted portion, concerned with your appearance and health. Organize the hours of this day, so that you make years out of minutes and months out of seconds. Seek forgiveness from your Lord, remember Him, prepare for the final parting from this world, and live today happily and at peace. Be content with your sustenance, your wife, your children, your work, your house and your station in life. So hold that which I have given you and be of the grateful. (Qur'an 7: 144) You must engrave onto your heart one phrase: Today is my only day. If you have eaten warm, fresh bread today, then what do yesterday's dry, rotten bread and tomorrow's anticipated bread matter? If you are truthful with yourself and have a firm, solid resolve, you will undoubtedly convince yourself of the following: Today is my last day to live. When you achieve this attitude, you will profit from every moment of your day, by developing your personality, expanding your abilities, and purifying your deeds. Then you say to yourself: Today I shall be refined in my speech and will utter neither evil speech nor obscenity. Also, I shall not backbite. Today I shall organize my house and my office. They will not be disorderly and chaotic, but organized and neat. Today I will be particular about my bodily cleanliness and appearance. I will be meticulous in my neatness and balanced in my walk, talk, and actions. Today I will strive to be obedient to my Lord, pray in the best manner possible, do more voluntary acts of righteousness, recite the Qur'an, and read beneficial books. I will plant goodness into my heart and extract from it the roots of evil   such as pride, jealousy, and hypocrisy. Today I will try to help others to visit the sick, to attend a funeral, to guide the one who is lost, and to feed the hungry. I will stand side by side with the oppressed and the weak. I will pay respect to the scholar, be merciful to the young, and reverent to the old. O' past that has departed and is gone, I will not cry over you. You will not see me remembering you, not even for a moment, because you have traveled away from me never to return. O' future, you are in the realm of the unseen, so I will not be obsessed by your dreams. I will not be preoccupied about what is to come because tomorrow is nothing and has not yet been created. `Today is my only day' is one of the most important statements in the dictionary of happiness, for those who desire to live life in its fullest splendor and brilliance.  'Don't Be Sad' by 'Aaidh Ibn Abdullah al-Qarni Please do not copy, thank you.

Asalamu Alaykum

 
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Welcome to my Blog, Reflections 4 Muslimahs!
This blog is to share thoughts and discuss books for the Muslim Women and other great books.
Some of the books I will be using are:

Don't be Sad ( 'Aaidh Ibn Abdullah al-Qarni)

You can be the Happiest Woman in the World (Dr 'A'id al-Qarni) 

The Ideal Muslimah (Dr Muhammad Ali Al- Hashmimi) 

 Healing with Medicine of the Prophet (Imam Ibn Qayyim Al- Jauziyah) 

and any other topics you would wish to discuss InshaAllah.


I hope you enjoy reading this Blog :)