I find happiness in my faith, and my faith is in my heart, and no one has power over it except my Lord."

Excerpts From: You Can Be the Happiest Woman in the World!

By Sheikh 'A'id al Qarni

With your beauty, you are better than the sun; with your morals you are more sublime than musk; with your modesty you are nobler than the full moon; with your compassion you a more beneficial than rain. So, preserve your beauty with faith, your tranquility with contentment, your chastity with hijab.

Remember that your adornment is not gold, silver or diamond, rather, it is two rak'ahs at Fajr going thirsty when you fast for Allah, concealed charity which no one knows except Him, hot tears that wash away sin, a lengthy prostration born of utter submission to Allah, shyness before Allah when the inclination to do evil overwhelms you.

Clothe yourself with the garments of taqwa (piety) for you are the most beautiful woman in the world, even if your clothes are shabby. Clothe yourself with cloak of modesty, for you are the most beautiful woman in the world even if you are barefoot.

Beware of the life bewitching immoral disbelieving women, for they are the fuel of the fire of Hell.

O' sincere Muslim, O' believing woman who constantly turns to Allah, the Exalted, be like the palm tree and rise above evil and harm; if a stone is thrown at the palm tree, it lets its fruit drop (and does not retaliate). It remains green summer and winter, and gives many benefits. Do not lower yourself to the level of trivial matters, and rise above all that may damage your modesty and honour.

A man had an argument with his wife and said, "I am going to make your life miserable." The wife calmly replied, "You cannot do that." He said, "Why not?" She said: "If happiness were to be found in money or jewellery, you could deprive me of it and take it away from me, but it is nothing over which you or any other person has control. I find happiness in my faith, and my faith is in my heart, and no one has power over it except my Lord."

The One Who created happiness is the Most Gracious, Most Merciful, so how can you seek happiness from anyone other than Him? If people had control over happiness, there would be no deprived or grieving person left on earth

Jumu'ah Mubarak!

Five Foods That Aid Weight Loss

Source: HealthyMuslim.com

The best way to lose weight and keep the weight off is to change the way you eat on a daily basis, by choosing a variety of healthy foods and eating in moderation. This will ensure an adequate supply of antioxidants vital for boosting immunity and protecting the body against disease.

Here are some foods that studies support as being effective fat-burners, thus potentially aiding weight loss when eaten as part of a balanced, healthy diet.

Grapefruit

Naringenin, a flavonoid in grapefruit, balances out blood sugar levels and helps to prevent metabolic syndrome, a pre-diabetic condition associated with weight gain. Scientists at the University of Western Ontario found it worked by programming the liver to burn up excess fat, rather than store it.

When patients drank grapefruit juice before each meal, they lost between nearly 4-10lb in weight over three months, according to a study at the University of California.

Chili Pepper

Capsaicin, the heat-producing molecule that gives chili peppers their kick, is thermogenic, meaning it speeds up metabolism and heat production. Research has found that cells can burn up to 25 per cent more calories after a person has eaten chili. Trials at Maastricht University found that chili peppers also reduce appetite by suppressing hunger and prolonging the feeling of fullness.

Green tea

Green tea speeds up the rate your body burns cellular energy by up to 40 per cent, according to research reported in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition.

The plant also increases the rate of fat burning. Researchers have found this effect is caused by the combination of caffeine and flavonoids found in the tea, whether it is drunk hot or cold.

Cinnamon

A study published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition found that when volunteers were given rice pudding with three grams of cinnamon, they produced less insulin after the meal. Insulin is the hormone that turns excess sugar into fat, so this means less weight gain. Furthermore, cinnamon may slow down emptying of the stomach, meaning it can make you feel fuller for longer.

Coconut oil

Coconut fat has found to have fewer calories per gram than other fats, producing only 6.8 calories per gram rather than 9 calories like most fats. Unlike many others,calories in coconut oil act more like carbohydrates, being burned by the liver for immediate energy.

According to the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, the body digests coconut oilmore easily than the fats in butter or spreads, rapidly converting it into a source of energy.

“To be honest…”

” To Be Honest”… By Xenia

We hear it every day in conversations ” To be honest I/we…”

Well to ” be honest” I always wonder why the person(s) I have the conversation with need to use this certain expression. What does it mean? Does it mean that on this instance they are honest but at others they are not?

In our days and I am sorry if  I sound negative, I am not totally surprised.

For many but Insha Allah not the majority , dishonesty, lies and the decline of all that is pure and honest is the norm…

What makes it worse is that the decline of this beautiful virtue called honesty or that total  absence of it, is not considered  by many something worth “writing home about”. But I have read that Muslims are  the Best of nations because  Allah (swt) made a statement  honoured us and said:

Holy Qur’an

“Thus We have made of you a just and the best nation that you may be witnesses over mankind and the Apostle (Muhammad) will be a witness over yourselves.” (2.143)

And Honesty descended for us from the Heaven as we see in the following hadith

Narrated Hudhaifa:

Allah’s Apostle said to us,

“Honesty descended from the Heavens and settled in the roots of the hearts of men (faithful believers),

and then the Quran was revealed and the people read the Quran, (and learnt it from it) and also learnt it from the Sunna.”

Both Quran and Sunna strengthened their (the faithful believers’) honesty . Sahih Bukhari (Book #92, Hadith #381)

So if we read the Holy Qur’an and The Sunna of the Prophet (saw) , and we understand  implement what we read, why then we  do not remember ? Is it because  our hearts  are now so hard that the most beautiful teachings can not penetrate them?

Do we not care if we are of the people mentioned in the following hadith?

Narrated Abu Huraira:

The Prophet said, “The signs of a hypocrite are three:

1. Whenever he speaks, he tells a lie.

2. Whenever he promises, he always breaks it (his promise ).

3. If you trust him, he proves to be dishonest. (If you keep something as a trust with him, he will not return it.)”  Sahih Bukhari  (Book #2, Hadith #32)

Some of us have the policy ” If you can not beat them join them” .

Meaning?

If everybody else does it, we might as well be like them otherwise we might be considered backwards, simple, naive, or we might be taken advantage of.

I am asking you: ” So???” What we should be concerned about is that  Allah (swt) watches everyone of us. He  (swt) knows Everything.

Please do not give short measures .

Not in Feelings including your love and care

Not In  Goods

Not in your Time

Not in ANYTHING.

Following are some sayings . I hope we will all get motivated and start making the changes NOW!!!

If you plant honesty, you will reap trust.
If you plant goodness, you will reap friends.
If you plant humility, you will reap greatness.
If you plant perseverance, you will reap victory.
If you plant consideration, you will reap harmony.
If you plant hard work, you will reap success.
If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation.
If you plant openness, you will reap intimacy.
If you plant patience, you will reap improvements.
If you plant faith, you will reap miracles.
But
If you plant dishonesty, you will reap distrust.
If you plant selfishness, you will reap loneliness.
If you plant pride, you will reap destruction.
If you plant envy, you will reap trouble.
If you plant laziness, you will reap stagnation.
If you plant bitterness, you will reap isolation.
If you plant greed, you will reap loss.
If you plant gossip, you will reap enemies.
If you plant worries, you will reap wrinkles.
If you plant sin, you will reap guilt.

Jazak Allah Kheir for reading

Xenia

Put your trust in Allah! Alhamdulillah!

I had a long talk with a friend today.

While she was getting ready to depart on a four day holiday break, had a fall and broke her wrist. After  24 hours in pain and an operation , her right hand is in plaster  and she will be unable to use it for the next six weeks.

“Ιnaa lillaahe wa innaa ilayhe raji’oon”

I try to imagine what this is going going to be like  for her. Incapacitated and unable to carry out  everyday activities must be a very stressful situation to be in.

Allah swt says in the Holy Qur’an:

For him (each person), there are angels in succession, before and behind him. They guard him by the Command of Allah… (Ar Ra’d: ayah 11)

No calamity befalls, but by the Leave i.e. Decision and Qadar (Divine Preordainments) of Allah, and whosoever believes in Allah, He guides his heart to true Faith with certainty, i.e. what has befallen him was already written for him by Allah from the Qadar (Divine Preordainments). And Allah is the All Knower of everything. (At Taghabun: ayah 11)

So No Holiday and 6 weeks in plaster. But the word  ”if” is not option for her …Alhamdulillah

“Seek carefully what benefits you. Pray for Allah’s help and do not deviate from your path. If adversity strikes, do not lament: “Oh if I had done so and so, such and such would not have happened”; but rather, say: “Allah has decreed, and what He has decreed has come to be.”… “If”, opens the door to Shaytaan.” Muhammad – In the Sahih: Narrated by Abu Hurayrah.

Allah swt says in the Holy Qur’an

But He (SWT) also says:

So when calamity strikes we can choose to be miserable and angry or accepting, patient  and seeing the  calamity as a Mercy from Allah as He wants to give us a way for  an expiation of sins and raise our status in the Hereafter. Ameen.

I thought I will write this as a reminder for all of us to be grateful to Allah ( swt ) for all His blessings.

And in difficulties have faith that Allah swt will make a way out for us. Alhamdulillah.

Imagine what it feels like to have the permanent loss of a limb through illness or wars?

Thank you for reading

Xenia

Oh Muslimah!!!

Asalamu Alaykum

I was tagged in this beautiful picture. I am very happy to share it with you!!!

How do I feel as a Muslim woman?

By Xenia

The propaganda against Islam sadly often uses Muslim women as tools for its unjust campaign of hate.

Personally I find the comments and innuendos somehow repetitive and  I tend to just ignore them but there might be some who take them to heart.

As a Muslim woman not only I do not feel oppressed but for the first time in my life I feel really free.

I know this might sound a little cliché   but Islam  is the ” wind beneath my wings”.

I  have  a different role and responsibilities to that of a man, and have no problem  in recognising and accepting  that  men and women are different  but we also compliment each other.

Nobody refuses my right to  work if I want to, to  further my education (in fact we are all encouraged to knowledge and understanding), to inherit, to develop and  use my ability of critical thinking and I can at the same time be a modest, ethical human being within the perimeters of Islam.

Men and Women  have been created for the same purpose: to serve God.

Whenever and wherever Islam has talked about virtues in human beings, it has not differentiated between men and women

Nowdays everybody likes to talk about human rights and discrimination.

Islam spoke about all these over 1400 years ago.

Islam puts such a great stress in   matters of discrimination. No discrimination on basis of race, ethnicity, colour, gender etc.

So I feel free and also very protected. I do not need to expose my body or sell my  soul cheap  for others to see Me and for Me to feel liberated.

Allah (swt) says in the Holy Qur’an:

Marriage in Islam

Marriage in Islam
Excerpt from the Book " The Ideal Muslimah".

In Islam, marriage is a blessed contract between a man and a woman, in which each becomes

"permitted" to the other, and they begin the long journey of life in a spirit of love, co-operation,

harmony and tolerance, where each feels at ease with the other, and finds tranquillity,

contentment and comfort in the company of the other. The Qur'an has described this relationship

between men and women, which brings love, harmony, trust and compassion, in the most moving

and eloquent terms:

( And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among

yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and

mercy between your [hearts] . . .) (Qur'an 30:21)

This is the strongest of bonds, in which Allah (SWT) unites the two Muslim partners, who come

together on the basis of love, understanding, co-operation and mutual advice, and establish a

Muslim family in which children will live and grow up, and they will develop the good character and

behaviour taught by Islam. The Muslim family is the strongest component of a Muslim society when

its members are productive and constructive, helping and encouraging one another to be good and

righteous, and competing with one another in good works.

The righteous woman is the pillar, cornerstone and foundation of the Muslim family. She is seen as

the greatest joy in a man's life, as the Prophet (PBUH) said:

"This world is just temporary conveniences, and the best comfort in this world is a righteous

women."1

A righteous woman is the greatest blessing that Allah (SWT) can give to a man, for with her he can

find comfort and rest after the exhausting struggle of earning a living. With his wife, he can find

incomparable tranquillity and pleasure.

How can a woman be the best comfort in this world? How can she be a successful woman, true to

her own femininity, and honoured and loved? This is what will be explained in the following pages:

She chooses a good husband

One of the ways in which Islam has honoured woman is by giving her the right to choose her

husband. Her parents have no right to force her to marry someone she dislikes. The Muslim woman

knows this right, but she does not reject the advice and guidance of her parents when a potential

suitor comes along, because they have her best interests at heart, and they have more experience

of life and people. At the same time, she does not forego this right because of her father's wishes

that may make him force his daughter into a marriage with someone she dislikes.

There are many texts that support the woman in this sensitive issue, for example the report quoted

by Imam Bukhari from al-Khansa' bint Khidam:

"My father married me to his nephew, and I did not like this match, so I complained to the

Messenger of Allah (PBUH). He said to me: `Accept what your father has arranged.' I said, `I

do not wish to accept what my father has arranged.' He said, `Then this marriage is invalid,

go and marry whomever you wish.' I said, `I have accepted what my father has arranged,

but I wanted women to know that fathers have no right in their daughter's matters (i.e. they

have no right to force a marriage on them).'"2

At first, the Prophet (PBUH) told al-Khansa' to obey her father, and this is as it should be, because

the concern of fathers for their daughters' well-being is well-known. But when he realized that her

father wanted to force her into a marriage she did not want, he gave her the freedom to choose,

and saved her from the oppression of a father who wanted to force her into an unwanted marriage.

Islam does not want to impose an unbearable burden on women by forcing them to marry a man

they dislike, because it wants marriages to be successful, based on compatibility between the

partners; there should be common ground between them in terms of physical looks, attitudes,

habits, inclinations and aspirations. If something goes wrong, and the woman feels that she cannot

love her husband sincerely, and fears that she may commit the sin of disobeying and opposing this

husband whom she does not love, then she may ask for a divorce. This is confirmed by the report

in which the wife of Thabit ibn Qays ibn Shammas, Jamilah the sister of `Abdullah ibn Ubayy, came

to the Prophet (PBUH) and said: "O Messenger of Allah, I have nothing against Thabit ibn Qays as

regards his religion or his behaviour, but I hate to commit any act of kufr when I am a Muslim. The

Prophet (PBUH) said: "Will you give his garden back to him?" - her mahr had been a garden. She

said, "Yes." So the Messenger of Allah sent word to him: "Take back your garden, and give her one

pronouncement of divorce."3

According to a report given by Bukhari from Ibn `Abbas, she said, "I do not blame Thabit for

anything with regard to his religion or his behaviour, but I do not like him."

Islam has protected woman's pride and humanity, and has respected her wishes with regard to the

choice of a husband with whom she will spend the rest of her life. It is not acceptable for anyone,

no matter who he is, to force a woman into a marriage with a man she does not like.

There is no clearer indication of this than the story of Barirah, an Ethiopian slave-girl who belonged

to `Utbah ibn Abu Lahab, who forced her to marry another slave whose name was Mughith. She

would never have accepted him as a husband if she had been in control of her own affairs. `A'ishah

(May Allah be pleased with her) took pity on her, so she bought her and set her free. Then this

young woman felt that she was free and in control of her own affairs, and that she could take a

decision about her marriage. She asked her husband for a divorce. Her husband used to follow her,

weeping, whilst she rejected him. Bukhari quotes Ibn `Abbas describing this freed woman who

insisted on the annulment of her marriage to someone she did not love; the big-hearted Prophet

(PBUH) commented on this moving sight, and sought to intervene.

Ibn `Abbas said:

"Barirah's husband was a slave, who was known as Mughith. I can almost see him, running

after her and crying, with tears running down onto his beard. The Prophet (PBUH) said to

`Abbas, `O `Abbas, do you not find it strange, how much Mugith loves Barirah, and how

much Barirah hates Mughith?' The Prophet (PBUH) said (to Barirah), `Why do you not go

back to him?' She said, `O Messenger of Allah, are you commanding me to do so?' He said,

`I am merely trying to intervene on his behalf.' She said, `I have no need of him.'"4

The Prophet (PBUH) was deeply moved by this display of human emotion: deep and overwhelming

love on the part of the husband, and equally powerful hatred on the part of the wife. He could not

help but remind the wife, and ask her why she did not go back to him, as he was her husband and

the father of her child. This believing woman asked him, whether he was ordering her to do so:

was this a command, a binding obligation? The Prophet (PBUH), this great law-giver and educator,

replied that he was merely trying to intercede and bring about reconciliation if possible; he was not

trying to force anybody to do something they did not wish to.

Let those stubborn, hard-hearted fathers who oppress their own daughters listen to the teaching of

the Prophet (PBUH)!

The Muslim woman who understands the teachings of her religion has wise and correct standards

when it comes to choosing a husband. She does not concern herself just with good looks, high

status, a luxurious lifestyle or any of the other things that usually attract women. She looks into his

level of religious commitment and his attitude and behaviour, because these are the pillars of a

successful marriage, and the best features of a husband. Islamic teaching indicates the importance

of these qualities in a potential husband, as Islam obliges a woman to accept the proposal of

anyone who has these qualities, lest fitnah and corruption become widespread in society:

"If there comes to you one with whose religion and attitude you are satisfied, then give your

daughter to him in marriage, for if you do not do so, fitnah anmischief will become

widespread on earth."5

Just as the true Muslim young man will not be attracted to the pretty girls who have grown up in a

bad environment, so the Muslim young woman who is guided by her religion will not be attracted to

stupid "play-boy" types, no matter how handsome they may be. Rather she will be attracted to the

serious, educated, believing man who is clean-living and pure of heart, whose behaviour is good

and whose understanding of religion is sound. No-one is a suitable partner for the good, believing

woman except a good, believing man; and no-one is a suitable partner for the wayward, immoral

woman but a wayward, immoral man, as Allah (SWT) has said:

( Women impure are for men impure, and men impure for women impure, and

women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women 

of purity . ..) (Qur'an 24:26)

This does not mean that the Muslim woman should completely ignore the matter of physical

appearance, and put up with unattractiveness or ugliness. It is her right - as stated above - to

marry a man for whom her heart may be filled with love, and who is pleasing to her both in his

appearance and in his conduct. Appearance should not be neglected at the expense of inner

nature, or vice versa. A woman should choose a man who is attractive to her in all aspects, one

who will gain her admiration and respect. The true Muslim woman is never dazzled by outward

appearances, and she never lets them distract her from seeing the essence of a potential spouse.

The Muslim woman knows that the man has the right of qiwamah over her, as the Qur'an says:

( Men are the protectors and maintainers [qawwamun] of women, because Allah

has given the one more [strength] than the other, and because they support them

from their means . . .) (Qur'an 4:34)

Hence she wants to marry a man of whose qiwamah over her she will feel proud, one whom she

will be happy to marry and never regret it. She wants a man who will take her hand in his and set

out to fulfil their life's mission of establishing a Muslim family and raising a new generation of

intelligent and caring children, in an atmosphere of love and harmony, which will not be impeded

by conflicting attitudes or religious differences. Believing men and believing women are supposed

to walk side-by-side on the journey of life, which is a serious matter for the believer, so that they

may fulfil the great mission with which Allah (SWT) has entrusted mankind, men and women alike,

as the Qur'an says:

( For Muslim men and women - for believing men and women, for devout men and

women, for true men and women, for men and women who are constant and

patient, for men and women who humble themselves, for men and women who give

in charity, for men and women who fast [and deny themselves], for men and

women who guard their chastity, and for men and women who engage much in

Allah's praise - for them has Allah prepared forgiveness and great reward.) (Qur'an

33:35)

In order to achieve this great goal of strengthening the marriage bond, and establishing a stable

family life, it is essential to choose the right partner in the first place.

Among the great Muslim women who are known for their strength of character, lofty aspirations

and far-sightedness in their choice of a husband is Umm Sulaym bint Milhan, who was one of the

first Ansar women to embrace Islam. She was married to Malik ibn Nadar, and bore him a son,

Anas. When she embraced Islam, her husband Malik was angry with her, and left her, but she

persisted in her Islam. Shortly afterwards, she heard the news of his death, and she was still in the

flower of her youth. She bore it all with the hope of reward, for the sake of Allah (SWT), and

devoted herself to taking care of her ten-year-old son Anas. She took him to the Prophet (PBUH),

so that he could serve him (and learn from him).

One of the best young men of Madinah, one of the best-looking, richest and strongest, came to

seek her hand in marriage. This was Abu Talhah - before he became Muslim. Many of the young

women of Yathrib liked him because of his wealth, strength and youthful good looks, and he

thought that Umm Sulaym would joyfully rush to accept his offer. But to his astonishment, she told

him, "O Abu Talhah, do you not know that your god whom you worship is just a tree that grew in

the ground and was carved into shape by the slave of Banu so-and-so." He said, "Of course." She

said, "Do you not feel ashamed to prostrate yourself to a piece of wood that grew in the ground

and was carved by the slave of Banu so-and-so?" Abu Talhah was stubborn, and hinted to her of an

expensive dowry and luxurious lifestyle, but she persisted in her point of view, and told him

frankly: "O Abu Talhah, a man like you could not be turned away, but you are a disbelieving man,

and I am a Muslim woman. It is not permitted for me to marry you, but if you were to embrace

Islam, that would be my dowry (mahr), and I would ask you for nothing more."6

He returned the following day to try to tempt her with a larger dowry and more generous gift, but

she stood firm, and her persistance and maturity only enhanced her beauty in his eyes. She said to

him, "O Abu Talhah, do you not know that your god whom you worship was carved by the

carpenter slave of so-and-so? If you were to set it alight, it would burn." Her words came as a

shock to Abu Talhah, and he asked himself, Does the Lord burn? Then he uttered the words:

"Ashhadu an la ilaha ill-Allah wa ashhadu anna Muhammadan rasul-Allah."

Then Umm Sulaym said to her son Anas, with joy flooding her entire being, "O Anas, marry me to

Abu Talhah." So Anas brought witnesses and the marriage was solemnized.

Abu Talhah was so happy that he was determined to put all his wealth at Umm Sulaym's disposal,

but hers was the attitude of the selfless, proud, sincere believing woman. She told him, "O Abu

Talhah, I married you for the sake of Allah (SWT), and I will not take any other dowry." She knew

that when Abu Talhah embraced Islam, she did not only win herself a worthy husband, but she also

earned a reward from Allah (SWT) that was better than owning red camels (the most highly-prized

kind) in this world, as she had heard the Prophet (PBUH) say:

"If Allah (SWT) were to guide one person to Islam through you, it is better for you than

owning red camels."7

Such great Muslim women are examples worthy of emulation, from whom Muslim women may

learn purity of faith, strength of character, soundness of belief and wisdom in choosing a husband.

Alphabet of Happiness!

Giving The Gift Of True Forgiveness

We have all been in situations where someone, usually someone we hold near and dear, has committed a wrong against us. As much as we want to move forward, we are often held back due to our inability to let go of the wrong, the injury and the injustice. Umm Thameenah bint Luqman searches deep to discover the essence of forgiveness.

I always thought of myself as the type of sister that found it difficult to hold a grudge. I have had my share of falling-outs, disputes, even confrontations in the past. With some, I made my feelings apparent; with others I either shrugged it off or hid my feelings and made excuses for them. In general though, I have found it easier to overlook things and simply utter “I forgive you” than to have to face an uncomfortable apology from someone.

However, a year ago, I found myself questioning my claim of being able to forgive easily. I faced a situation that was emotionally painful, not only because of the hurt and sadness it caused, but also because those involved were people whom I considered dear to me. I realised that I had a choice: I could either hold on to the situation and continue to experience the resentment and sorrow, or I could forgive and let go. I chose to let go.

But, as days turned into weeks and weeks into months, I found myself recalling the incident over and over again in my mind. “I haven’t been able to forgive them, have I?” I questioned myself. “Subhan Allah, I still hold a grudge against them.” I found myself questioning my relationship with these sisters, and found that the solid foundation of trust that we had built over years had been shattered with one thoughtless action. As much as I tried to forgive and to forget, remembering the incident brought intense sadness and tears that continued to hinder my progress.

Hostage to the past
Most of us have been in a similar position. We recognise some pattern of behaviour in ourselves that we would like to change, but we often feel powerless to do so. Everything we try seems to lead nowhere. However, if we probe deeper into the source of this behaviour, we can often link it to some past event or experience in our lives. In some cases, it is the result of a single traumatic event, whether a betrayal by a friend, an injury, an attack or a perceived injustice. For others, it is the result of emotional, mental or physical abuse that has occurred over an extended period of time.

As difficult as the situation is, overcoming it with sincere forgiveness is truly a blessing from Allah I. If we are unable to release the baggage we carry as a result of past experiences, we remain stuck, continuing to allow these experiences to shape our future in ways that are not always healthy, often creating unforeseen pain and suffering for us and those around us.

Finding the ability to forgive
To forgive someone does not mean that whatever harm or hurt they caused becomes insignificant. It is a process that begins in the heart and filters through our souls, ultimately creating an immeasurable release of burden for the one wronged and the wrongdoer.

• Forgiving by accepting responsibility. Yes, others may have done things that have hurt or harmed us, and they are responsible for those actions. But such individuals are not responsible for how we live the rest of our lives; we are responsible for that. How we respond to these past events and what we carry into our present and our future is entirely up to us and no one else. If we allow the past to negatively affect how we live the rest of our lives through the choices we make, our friendships, our relationships and our behaviour with others, then that remains our choice and responsibility, not that of the one who committed wrong. Once we understand this, only then will we grant ourselves the opportunity to implement the beautiful process of forgiveness, by freeing ourselves from the burden of pain, anger and resentment, insha Allah.

• Forgiving by releasing. Forgiveness is about releasing ourselves from those self-imposed limitations and self-defeating behaviour patterns that tie us to the past in negative ways. Forgiveness is releasing our anger, fear, pain and resentment and opening our hearts to joy, peace and love. It means that I will no longer allow the past to have a hold on my life today; that I am willing to release the hurt and pain; that I no longer wish to be tied to the experience or the person connected to the experience in a negative way; that I am releasing both myself and the person from a tie that holds us both back; and, most profoundly, that I simply wish to be free.

• Forgiving by moving on. Does forgiveness equal welcoming the person back into your life? Sometimes, to do so would be to take the high road, and that would be a source of khayr. However, there are times when it is neither wise nor prudent to do so. In the Qur’an Allah I informs us of the permissibility of seeking recompense from one that has wronged us. However, we are also told that to forgive is better than to seek revenge. True forgiveness does not always necessitate the complete forgetting of a situation, despite the common misconception that we should “forgive and forget” as though the incident never took place. However, you do not want to go around carrying the heavy burden of being bitter and resentful for the rest of your life either. Once you learn that if you touch a hot stove you can get burnt, you are not likely to do it again. You learn something from the experience: to exercise more caution while working around a hot stove, thus you do not blame the stove for being hot. It is what it is. And neither do you go around, for years, holding onto a grudge against the stove because you got burnt. This is the same for individuals that have wronged us. We are able to benefit from the situation by learning from the experience and moving on, as opposed to allowing the situation to control our lives.

Returning to Allah
A dear sister once told me, “We are a nation of believers, hoping to attain the forgiveness of our Lord, Most High, whilst failing to attain the forgiveness of our fellow beings.”

For me, learning to forgive meant taking ownership of my own situation. Though I sometimes struggle to do so, I make a habit of beseeching my Lord to forgive all who have wronged me … and to forgive me, for having ever harboured the inability to let go of what I claimed to have forgiven. As I recline each night, I attempt to cleanse my heart of every kind of ill-feeling, upset and hurt that I have been harbouring. I attempt to empty it completely, to forgive and make excuses, whilst turning to my Beloved, Most High, in need of His forgiveness.

“Our Lord! Forgive us, and our brethren who came before us into Faith, and leave not, in our hearts, rancour (or sense of injury) against those who have believed. Our Lord! You are indeed Full of Kindness, Most Merciful” (Al-Hashr: 10).

For those that have ever wronged me intentionally, unintentionally, with or without my knowledge, accept from me the best of all gifts - my forgiveness wrapped in a heartfelt du’a. With this, insha Allah, we shall walk hand-in-hand through the blessed gates of Paradise. With this, insha Allah, we shall not be held back to reconcile our worldly disputes. And with this, insha Allah, I have freed my soul and yours, by letting go of any past wrongs ever committed.

And for those that I have wronged, I pray, as taught by the Prophet r: “Oh Allah, whomever of the believers I have abused, give him the reward of a sacrificial slaughter for it on the Day of Resurrection” (Al-Bukhari).

Source: Sisters Magazine

Spirituality and Motherhood

Bismillah
Assalaamu 'alaykum wa Rahmatullah,

Dedicated to every mother of our ummah:)

“When she has her first baby, she must manage for another life even more dependent on her personal sacrifices. By the second, third, or fourth child, her days and nights belong almost entirely to others.

Whether she has a spiritual path or not, such a mother can seldom resist a glance at the past, when there were more prayers, more meanings, more spiritual company, and more serenity. When Allah opens her understanding, she will see that she is engaged in one of the highest forms of worship, that of producing new believers who love and worship Allah. She is effectively worshipping Allah for as many lifetimes she has children, for the reward of every spiritual work her children do will be hers, without this diminishing anything of their own rewards: every ablution, every prayer, every Ramadan, every hajj, and even the works her children will in turn pass on to their offspring, and, so on till the end of time. Even if her children do not turn out as she wishes, she shall be requited in paradise forever according to her intention in raising them, which was that they should be godly.

Aside from the tremendous reward, within the path itself it is noticeable that many of those who benefit most from khalwa or ’solitary retreat of dhikr’ are women who have raised children. With only a little daily dhikr and worship over the years, but much toil and sacrifice for others, they surpass many a younger person who has had more free time, effort, and ’spiritual works.’ What they find is greater because their state with Allah is greater; namely, the awe, hope, and love of the Divine they have realized by years of sincerity to Him.”

[Sheikh Nuh H.M.Keller]

May Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala bestow His Mercy on all mothers and may He aid us in raising righteous children who love Him and live for Him. Aameen

Source: 

Rayhaanah Omar

The Secret!

As-salaamu alaykum wa rahmat-Allaahi wa barakaatuhu
(Peace be upon you, and the mercy of Allaah and His blessings) Insh-Allah.

The Secret
One day, one friend asked another,
"How is it that you are always so happy?
You have so much energy, and you never seem to get down."

With her eyes smiling, she said,
"I know the Secret!"
"What secret is that?"
To which she replied,
"I'll tell you all about it, but you have to promise to share the Secret
with others."
"The Secret is this:
I have learned there is little I can do in my life that will make me
truly happy.
I must depend on ALLAH (SWT) to make me happy and to meet my needs.
When a need arises in my life, I have to trust ALLAH (SWT) to supply
according to HIS riches.
I have learned most of the time I don't need half of what I think I do.
He has never let me down.
Since I learned that 'Secret', I am happy." In everything you do, put
Allah (SWT) first, and he will direct you and crown your effort with success

The questioner's first thought was,
"That's too simple!"
But upon reflecting over her own life she recalled how she thought a
bigger house would make her happy, but it didn't!
She thought a better paying job would make her happy, but it hadn't.
When did she realize her greatest happiness?
Sitting on the floor with her children, playing games, eating pizza or
reading a story, a simple gift from ALLAH (SWT).
In everything you do, put Allah (SWT) first, and he will direct you and
crown your effort with success.
Now you know it too!
We can't depend on people to make us happy. Only ALLAH (SWT) in His
infinite wisdom can do that. Trust in HIM!

Have Faith in Allah (SWT) "Iemaan"
The stronger your Iemaan the happier you will be, And now I pass the
Secret on to you!
So once you get it, what will you do?
YOU have to tell someone the Secret, too!
That ALLAH (SWT) in His wisdom will take care of YOU! But it's not
really a secret...
We just have to believe it and do it... Really trust ALLAH (SWT) !
In everything you do, put Allah (SWT) first, and he will direct you and
crown your effort with success.

Source: Huzeyla Salahaddin 

Teardrops!

Look at...

Measuring Life!

Asalamu Alaykum1

I thought I will share this with you. Insha Allah, it will brighten your day!

Salaams

Xenia

This is your life! Go for Goal!

As Muslims we are aware that Allah SWT wills everything to happen or not happen and yet we each have the responsibility of choosing our own path of action. Have you ever met someone who talks about all the things that they would like to do, yet they achieve very little? It is not enough to have a wish to do something; we need to have a solid niyah backed up by an action plan in order to achieve our goals.
A “niyah” can also be called a “goal.” The overall intention can be whatever you would like it to be; first and foremost for a Muslim, however, would be to attain the pleasure of Allah SWT.
Within this large intention, we also take a variety of actions daily. These actions all become goals when we place energy and take action to achieve them. As simple as this may sound, we all know how easy it is to get off track when trying to achieve our goals. Life can be hectic and busy, and dealing with responsibilities can take its toll. So how do we get our focus back on to the things that are important to us?
One of my clients, Amira, is educated, runs her own business and is the mother of two boys. She is active in the community and volunteers regularly at the mosque. If you need something done, Amira is your person: she never says no. When she came to coaching, she was suffering from severe asthma that had been brought on by chronic stress. Her work was taking over her life and she felt on the verge of collapse. While her business was successful, it came at the cost of her family and her health. She came to coaching hoping to regain her balance.
Like Amira, many of us don’t realise that we need a change until things get out of control. The first step in this case is to explore what has gone out of balance. Once you have clarity on this, you will find out not only what needs to be done, but also where to start.
On the other hand, for you or for someone you know, life may be just fine. Nothing may seem to be wrong, but there isn’t much enthusiasm for life either. I have met many clients who feel guilty about taking care of their own needs and instead, they spend all their energies taking care of others to the extent that their own tanks often run empty. They know how to fulfil the needs of others, but have no idea where to start finding out what it is that they wish to achieve, let alone how to go about this.
Achieving personal fulfilment is important, for fulfilled women make fulfilled wives and mothers.
How do you begin to set goals if you are overwhelmed or have never done it before?
The following steps are designed to help you explore your life balance. Begin with drawing a large circle on a piece of paper.
Divide the circle into 6/8 slices (so it looks like a pie); depending on what you feel is appropriate. Then begin the exercise below. You will be working with the diagram throughout the exercise.

Step 1: Identify the areas of your life

The first step in looking for life balance is to first notice the areas that we focus our attention on. Take a few minutes to write down the important areas of your life, for example: work, family, finances etc. Place each area into one piece of the pie in the circle.
Step 2: Rate fulfilment

The next, most vital step is to gauge your fulfilment in each area of your life. Focus on one area at a time while asking yourself this question “on a scale from one to ten, how fulfilled am I in this area of my life?” Take your time in answering this question for each area. It will indicate to you how things are going. Mark this number on the corresponding pie by drawing a line where it is appropriate. Imagine that you are drawing a wheel inside the larger wheel.

Step 3: Notice the balance/lack of balance

Now that you have created your “wheel within a wheel” take a look at your diagram. What do you notice? How balanced is your life overall? What areas are taking up too much of your energy? Are there areas that are not getting enough? Is your life balanced the way you would like it to be? What are some of the changes that you would like to make? List them.

Step 4: Set three goals in each area

Now is the time to focus your energy on what you want. Take a little time to focus on three things that you would like to achieve in each area of your life. Think about goals that have a variety of time frames. The first can be a short term goal to be achieved in a few weeks or months. The second can be a medium term goal with a timeline of one to three years. Finally, there will be your long term goals. This part of the exercise is designed to encourage you to focus on creating a future that inspires you. Write your goals down.

You may have a good idea of the area that you would like to begin working on. I invite you to pick the area that will make the biggest difference to your life and begin focusing on this important area.
For Amira, the immediate realisation was that her health was being neglected. Since then, she has cut back her working hours and she is exercising regularly. Her health has improved significantly. This was her short term goal, but it is a significant step towards achieving success in all areas of her life.
In the next issue of SISTERS, Sayeda focuses on SMART goal setting to work towards your goals. Watch this space!
Sayeda Habib is a life coach who has featured in Rapport Magazine, ARY Digital Television, and has been a presenter on the Islam Channel. To get in touch with Sayeda log on to www.makelifehappen.com, call 0845 077 4027 or email her atSayeda@makelifehappen.com


Sisters Magazine

Our world!

Is your wardrobe bulging at the seams, filled with spontaneous catwalk-inspired choices, in outlandish colours and styles which you’ve worn on only a few occasions, if at all? We are so easily drawn into following the ‘follies’ of the fashion industry which has mastered the art of convincing us that a new cut, neckline, colour, or fabric is just what we need. A few bad buys later, we realise that our spontaneous shopping sprees have not only seriously dented our bank balance, but have also worn out the environment.
“How so?” I hear you ask.
For a start, one of the major environmental impacts of the clothing industry is the copious amounts of agricultural chemicals used to grow crops such as cotton. As one of the main culprits, cotton uses approximately 11% of the world’s pesticides, even though it is grown on only 2.4% of the world’s arable land. According to some estimates, it takes almost a third of a pound of fertilisers and pesticides to grow enough cotton for one t-shirt! The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) rates some of the chemicals used in cotton farming as toxic or carcinogenic (cancer-forming), posing a danger to both the environment and the health of farm workers.
Another area of concern to consumers is the skin irritation or textile allergies associated with synthetic fabrics in particular. Synthetic materials, like polyester, nylon and acrylic, are often the main culprits in textile allergies. The irritation is either related to the fabric itself, the dye used in the manufacturing process, the finish of the garment, or remnants of harsh chemicals after laundering. Some of the allergic effects associated with fabrics include skin rashes, itchiness and even shortness of breath. Wearing out the earth - A guide to ‘greening’ your wardrobe Dermatologists recommend either 100% cotton or cotton-mix fabrics since these are softer on the skin. Baby clothing, in particular, should be 100% cotton.
From this brief survey of the health and environmental impacts of the clothing industry, both on the farm and the factory, we begin to understand the need to take a closer look at the fine print on that clothing label.

Starting from your own closet

However, before you even set a foot in the shops, the first place to look when ‘greening’ your wardrobe is inside. Know what you have in your wardrobe and consider whether you really need to buy an item. Must you buy your umpteenth black scarf which you will inevitably want to match with yet another black abaya, since none of your existing twelve black abayas are quite the same shade of black?

Ultimately, the greenest clothing are those that you already own.
Take a leaf from the three R’s of recycling - reduce, re-use and recycle - and apply this to the contents of your wardrobe. Give away clothes that you are not wearing (reduce), add something different to spruce up old garments, such as sewing on new buttons (re-use) and mend your garments before tossing it out at the first sign of a fraying hemline (recycle). One of our exemplars, Aa’ishah t the beloved young wife of the Prophet r, used to mend her clothes and also loaned one of her dresses to a lady to wear during her marriage.

Pass it on

Coming from a family of seven sisters, I grew accustomed to hand-me-downs, which usually came with some excitement. Finally, you could wear your elder sister’s baby blue top that you could only admire from afar before! Or the shiny leather coat, inherited from your mother, which is suddenly back in fashion, making you quite a trendsetter among the sisters.

How about having a hijab-swopping afternoon tea? Who knows, one of the sisters might want a pink scarf which she could select from the multitude of headscarves acquired during your ‘pink’ phase - dusty pink, tie-dyed pink, striped pink - while you might just need a yellow scarf which another sister has outgrown.

Towards greener laundry

After carefully revamping your existing wardrobe, and without even opening your wallet, you now need to look at how you care for your clothes. Apparently, the greatest eco-burden from clothes is not in their production or manufacturing or even their distribution, but specifically how we use and launder our clothes. Laundering, if done incorrectly, can damage and cause our clothes to wear out faster. We need to wash clothes according to the specifications on garments, using gentle, enviro-friendly products and sun dry rather than dry clean clothes, preferably turning them inside out as this will help prevent fading of garments.

The street beat

Now, we can finally hit the shops. If you have to buy, try to buy organic. Since these fabrics have been grown without a reliance on synthetic chemicals, no genetically modified seed has been used. Natural inputs are the norm and you can be assured that both your health and the wellbeing of the planet have been considered. Some crops which carry the organic label include cotton, wool, linen and hemp. Not only clothes, but accessories such as bags are also being manufactured from organic fabrics. Furthermore, organic textiles are being produced by small scale organic farmers, lending much needed support to this sector. The organic production process is also meticulous about manufacturing procedures.

Fair trade

Clothing production, in many instances, is usually poorly paid, with workers enduring appalling working conditions. Thus, Muslim support of fair trade initiatives will “ensure that producers receive a fair price that guarantees a living income and decent working conditions with longer term contracts that provide greater security and ensure more sustainable development” (Islamic Relief ). Thus, when checking out the ‘green credentials’ of a potential buy, you need to scrutinise the production, manufacturing and distribution process. Is your product made locally, or did it have to be shipped in from some faraway location, exacting a further toll on the environment by ‘squandering’ valuable energy resources.

Already, alhamdulillah, we are seeing initiatives by Muslim-owned businesses to ‘green’ their products by choosing only natural fibres, choosing manufacturers with best practices, and striving to reduce packaging and thus keep their carbon footprint down.
To become eco-fashionable, you need to be smart, savvy and green about the making, wearing and caring of your clothes.
FIVE STEPS TO CREATING AN ECO-FRIENDLY WARDROBE
· First, consider whether you really need to buy an item, re-use what you have, liven it up and care for it to ensure that you get the longest wear out of it.
· Now, buy only what you absolutely need and love. Try and follow the next three steps to ensure that you are not wearing out the environment, and emptying your purse unnecessarily.
1. Buy organic if possible.
2. Buy classic garments which you can wear in many different ways.
3. Shop locally and opt for products that carry the Fair Trade label to ensure that the clothes you are buying have been produced in a socially-responsible manner.
Source: http://www.urbansprout.co.za/green_your_clothing
Najma Mohamed is an environmental researcher and writer based in Cape Town,South Africa. She is currently enrolled for her PhD in Islam and Environmental Education.
Sisters Nagazine

Huma Imam shares how a chance meeting with someone opened her eyes to the unacknowledged miracles within us.

He fidgeted uncomfortably on his seat as he nudged his elbow to discreetly push back the loop of a plastic tube that was sticking out from the side of his wheel-chair. I lowered my head and pretended to re-check my audio-recorder in order to give him time to adjust himself, without the embarrassment of being observed.

Brother Salim* is a paraplegic and he is paralysed from the waist down. I was meeting him for an interview for a local newspaper about life in a wheel-chair. Before our scheduled interview, he had kindly sent me books and videos describing the details of his physical condition as well as the everyday challenges faced by people with paraplegia and quadriplegia. Therefore, I was aware of the purpose of that plastic tube that showed up accidentally. That tube was part of a urinary catheter.

The interview went fine, but I returned home a changed person. His story kept resonating in my mind. A sea diving accident had turned his life around: from an energetic air traffic controller to a sedate office worker; from a newly married man to a divorcee; from a physically fit athlete to a wheel-chair bound invalid.

"Truly, to Allah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return" (Al Baqarah: 156).

Our Creator tests all of us in different ways. I prayed to Allah (SWT) to grant him patience, and to lighten his burden. I also supplicated to Him to keep me protected from such trials.

But that meeting had awoken another sensation inside me, a feeling that perhaps began as a faint quiver in my core on first seeing him, then grew to an intense throbbing with the blood flowing in every vein, till it reached a point that rattled and shook my very soul: a humbling sense of gratitude.

"Then which of the Blessings of your Lord will you both (jinns and men) deny?" (Ar-Rahman:13).

My mind was crowded with questions. Have I ever consciously expressed gratitude to Allah (SWT) for my ability to move? Have I truly appreciated my Creator for giving me a perfect body? Have I ever realised that even when I'm sitting, my legs continue to work for me by providing balance? Have I ever thanked my Lord for the ability to effortlessly relieve myself?

Yes, to be able to answer the call of nature in privacy and with dignity is a great blessing of Allah (SWT), something I had never realised before. Brother Salim, due to his condition caused by damage to the spinal cord, is unable to feel when he needs to go to the bathroom so he has to wear a catheter. And when he does go to the toilet, he requires the help of a nurse to clean him.

I remember a saying of one of our pious predecessors: "If a man is able to drink and expel a sip of water with ease, gratitude becomes due on him." Putting all other infinite attributes aside, I pondered and focused over just this one aspect of my body's blessings and it left me in awe.

"And in your creation, and what He scattered (through the earth) of moving (living) creatures are signs for people who have Faith with certainty" (Al-Jathiya: 4).

As a child I had been taught to utter the words of dhikr before and after going to the bathroom. I knew their meanings, but over the years, the remembrance had become a mindless reflex action. That is, until that day. Today, when I utter the word "Ghufranaka" as I leave the washroom, my mind is attentive and aware of the meaning, and my heart is humbled and filled with gratitude at the realisation that many have to suffer the pain of indignity and shame for this natural function of the human body.

Realisation is the first step towards true thankfulness. "No blessing is bestowed on a slave and he realises that it is from Allah, but the reward of giving gratitude for it is written for him..." (Patience and Gratitude by Ibn Al-Qayyim).

I owe my Creator the highest gratitude, so I aim to busy myself with ways of expressing it. The Messenger of Allah (S) said: "There is a (compulsory) Sadaqa to be given for every joint of the human body (as a sign of gratitude to Allah) everyday the sun rises. To judge justly between two persons is regarded as Sadaqa, and to help a man concerning his riding animal by helping him to ride it or by lifting his luggage on to it, is also regarded as Sadaqa, and (saying) a good word is also Sadaqa, and every step taken on one's way to offer the compulsory prayer (in the mosque) is also Sadaqa and to remove a harmful thing from the way is also Sadaqa" (Bukhari).

------------------------------------

* Name changed to protect the privacy of the individual

Huma Imam is a U.A.E. based freelance writer with qualifications in Home Sciences. She has experience in voluntary work with Islamic centres and occasionally speaks at sisters' halaqas.

www.buysisters.com