Tuesday, 18 October 2011

The Big Bang Weddings : How Grand Are Our Weddings? Part II by Nisaar Y. Nadiadwala

Ponder into this Qur'anic verse...Surah Araf ch 7.. verse 157..
The Prophet releases them from their heavy burden and from  yokes..... Nikah that were supposed to be a simple affair has become a yoke on the community.
 Our weddings are like Big Bang theory. Like the big exploision that blew particles in every direction and went on stretching its space, our big bang weddings  have exploisions that blow our money in all the directions, Haldi- Mehdi, Expensive make ups, Multi cuisine receptions, Wedding coats and Dresses for entire family, lavish invitation cards... the list keeps on stretching like the universe afterthe Big Bang Theory...
A Muslimah, who is the daughter of a very rich man, was getting married so she insisted that her wedding be simple, and she argued profoundly and courtesly with  her  mother and it went on for days till she got her point across. Through out her discussion, her argument was simple and straight :"Why should my father celebrate my departure in a grand manner?"  The parents smiled. The Islamic daughter's insistance saved more than half a million Indian Rupees of her father.
Moral of the story ? Most of us give up to the pressure of parents and other elders of the famiy, instead of talking to them with respect and politeness. If we be little firm towards deen our parents will also get inclined inshallah.
A few months back a friend of mine invited me to his wedding and waleema. It was more like an event than like a wedding. It was an event in actual term. There was an event manager, staffed with an anchor who was giving a running commentary of  the activites going on there along with jokes and all. I found it strange like a TV reality show. At times it becomes uncomfortable for us to respond at that time. It was then that I was introduced to a new trend in weddings.
People are handing over their wedding management to event planners.
Marriage is a big Industry. A new industry of around $11, growing at 25 percent annually
The Indian and Pakistani weddings are famous worldwide.
Even the poor wants to imitate this grandeur in his own way.
Years ago, a young  man,who worked with at my uncle's grocery shop in a small village, was getting married. He asked for a loan of ten thousand rupees in those days. It was ten times of his salary. My uncle explained but in vain.  The young man borrowed money from his relatives and friends and in few years he had to sold of his house to repay his debt.
There are  thousands of young Indians and Pakistanis who go out of their way to ceberate their wedding on things which are enjoyed for only few hours. This has promoted even the banks to come out with loans for weddings, as they say in Gujarati.. Where ever there are greedy people, frauds and cheaters  don't go hungry...
The minimum budget for a wedding ceremony is $34,000, say wedding planners, while the upper-middle and rich classes are known to spend upward of $2 million. (The average American wedding costs $26,327.) This doesn’t include cash and valuables given as part of a dowry.
 Yesterday's Times of India reported that the British Muslims spend a lot on stage decoration and Mehdi ceremony ! With the medhi artists and make up artists charging around 300 to 500 pounds , weddings are getting expensive globally as average Asian wedding in UK costs around 40 -50 thousand pounds equivalent to 30 laks of Rupees !!
Two years ago The Time Magazine had pubished an article  The Big Fat Indian Wedding Grows Bigger and Fatter   (,8599,1653427,00.html#ixzz1b1F8xq3Z) showing how much money Indians spend on their wedding.
The article did not have any moral or lesson except that it spoke big  and loud about such marriages.
In a lay man's language it glamourised  and encouraged such marriages.
A group of Sikh leaders called for a July 28 meeting of representatives from New Delhi’s more than 400 Sikh gurdwaras, or temples, to discuss ways to rein in over-the-top weddings… the Sikh leaders said the deluxe wedding trend puts an unfair burden on the  brides’ families, who traditionally pay for the parties.
I wait for the day our Masajids also call such meetings and rein our expenditures in weddings.. with no malice towards any one who is getting married in near future.....Mean while
Author : Nisaar Nadiadwala speaks and writes on socio-educational issues from Islamic Perspective. He can be reached at

1 comment:

Zarina Hassem said...

Such an important post, Jazakallah Khayr for always posting insightful info. on important issues.